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Trophy Wife: Sexuality. Disability. Femininity., by Leandra Vane
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Hello there, I am Leandra Vane. I write a sexuality and book review blog called The Unlaced Librarian. I read a lot of books about sex, so I figured it’s about time I wrote one. My entire life I have been working to understand three core aspects of my identity: My sexuality, my visible physical disability and my femininity. For the longest time, I never thought I’d be able to live in a world that accepted all three without reprisal.
Part memoir, part commentary on social issues in sex and disability, I write about my experiences growing from a timid, small town “nice girl” to an empowered, confidently sexual and kinky disabled woman. From my first pair of sexy panties through navigating my open marriage, I hope to shed light on how embodied experiences play a role in shaping our sexual lives.
Add in a dash of porn, a splash of erotica, and a few musings on marriage, I present to you Trophy Wife: Sexuality. Disability. Femininity.
Join me, won’t you?
- Sales Rank: #118819 in eBooks
- Published on: 2016-01-15
- Released on: 2016-01-15
- Format: Kindle eBook
Most helpful customer reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
One of the best books I've read in a while
By Jeff Finley
One of the best books I've read in a while. Such honest and intimate writing. It was so relatable and I found myself feeling inspired and hopeful for my own "sexual coming-of-age" in my 30s. We may not all have the same challenges, but are all "passing" in some form or another. Meaning, we try to fit into society and "be normal", but are hiding our true selves underneath fear and shame. Leandra puts this struggle into such beautiful words. She doesn't hold back and has the courage to talk about taboo subjects with such intelligence and vulnerability. I can't recommend this book enough for anyone who is trying to be more authentic and true to themselves.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Brilliant, Progressive, and Funny-as-Hell
By Heather B
If any parts of who you are lie dormant, they will surely stir at the sound of Vane's writing. Her experience living with a visible disability has made her extraordinarily clear on social lenses, narratives, and that disparity between how you feel and how you are perceived.
Her stories are relatable regardless of your experience with a disability, because she speaks to the interpersonal and intrapersonal experience of self-understanding and expression. Disability itself simply becomes a symbol of that thing in each of us that we've been told not to show, that thing we fear expressing, that thing we struggle to integrate into our healthy sense of self.
One of my very favorite aspects of this book is the heavy somatic component. Vane has become a master of embodiment through her journey of extreme intimacy with her body, which has at times included the experience of checking out from her body. It strikes me that, as a person with unavoidable pain, she does not avoid pain in general. This is paramount to being in your body. You will experience pain as well as pleasure and neutrality. That's not a reason to run. As Vane demonstrates with incredible clarity and humor, it is a reason to get really, really good at knowing what your body likes.
Here are just a few of my favorite verses from her about embodiment:
"I've been in many places and out of body has been by far the most excruciating and unbearable."
"...my sexuality was crucial to having a whole, finished experience in my body."
"I learned pleasure would not abandon me."
Other vital topics that she covers include kink, passing, porn, non-monogamy, and s***.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Be true to self
By Amazon Customer
The author writes well, and is often quite funny. Some people are overwhelmed by life's challenges; Leandra Vane looked them in the eye, worked through her fears, and decided to be herself. At least three of her decisions (to be in an open and ethical relationship with her husband, to investigate the world of kink, and to become a sex blogger) put her at odds with America's Puritanical and hypocritical attitudes about sex. To be disabled was not her choice. But she seems to be doing a better job than many more-able-bodied people in showing a lively interest and care in looking after herself. There is a fierce, funny, and altogether likable honesty about Leandra Vane. Recommended.
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